I know that I must be patient. I know that this too is a time for expanding who I am and what kind of mother I will be to Bennett. I've often caught myself saying, "he'll never arrive!" But I know that this is not true and he will arrive when he's  good and ready to. 
Speaking with a friend last evening, she gently reiterated the two truths to me, 1. Italian boys/men have be kicked out of their homes due to the fact that they are such momma's boys and 2. he's safe, taken care of and protected in every way right now and there will never be a time like this. 
I love you, Bennett. I cannot wait to gaze upon your beautiful face with amazed and tear-filled eyes. We have so many adventures ahead of us and so many miles to walk together. 

Genius!

In an effort to hopefully make my infant an utter genius as well as artistically superior to all other three month olds, I've whipped up these gems. All of the other infant visual stimulation patterns seemed well... a bit bland and not very aesthetically appealing, and I think that I've accomplished my intended goal of integrating two very important tasks: creating dynamic nuggets of intelligence as well as satisfying my need to get my mind the fact that he's not here. I hope likes them :)

Your room is ready. All set with a bed to fall asleep in, fun toys to explore, clothes to keep your warm, books to expand your imagination.

Your home is awaiting. Filled with love, peace, calm and joy.

Your momma is patiently anticipating your arrival. She is ready to hold you when you are in need, kiss your sweet forehead, rock you to sleep, peek in on you at all hours of the day.

Life is ready for you. Come when you wish, little one of mine–whenever that may be. I will wait for you always, walk with you when you wish, love you from afar if you ask. Be it small or grand, whatever you need of me, I will always give you my all.

You are my son, and I, your momma. You have but to merely ask–for anything your heart desires.

35 weeks 3 days

I am THIS big!

You're Entitled...

To feel, think, act and perceive as you wish, desire, want and need. It is the job of the ones that truly love us to accept those choices.

I am thankful for the gracious people in my life who have supported me through this time and hope that the ones who have a bit more processing to do will find their way.

Today's Lesson

As I've stated before, pregnancy teaches you so many things. For the past couple of weeks I've found myself complaining more so than usual. Most of my gripes center around the physical difficulties of being pregnant and wanting to meet my Bennett. I knew that this time would come, as so many people have informed that time will come to a crawl as the expected due date creeps closer. To make matters slightly worse, though not too terrible, I feel as if I've loss the essence of "woman" and have been overcome by being seen as just a soon-to-be mother.

To combat this, I've made it my directive to do two things:
One, take every second that I am pregnant and find the awesome and let of and accept the not-so-easy aspects. I simply cannot hurry along time, so I might as well enjoy it! He'll be here before I know it, and he'll arrive when he's ready.

Two, spend time each day doing things that expand me as a woman, professional, individual and creative soul so that some day I'll be able to share that person with my Little One and that I'll be more to him than just his mom, but someone with interests, talents and gifts.

32 weeks 1 day

I want to blog more. Not necessarily for me, but so that I have some sort of record of what the heck is going on when I look back a couple years from now. 

What I have learned from being pregnant: 

1. Patience–it makes every milestone, from hitting that 1 ounce mark to the time that their little eyes open, all the more worth it. 
2. Humility–I dont know if it is out of the complete lack of control of everything (body, mind and hormones) or what, but no matter how you try to retain the life that you once had, pregnancy will overcome and soon you'll find yourself wearing yoga pants and flats rather than jeans and heals. 
3. You can('t) run but/& you can't hide–There comes a point when you can no longer hid that you are pregnant. Sometimes this comes in the form of running to the restroom every five minutes because you're so sick, and for the lucky ones (like me–and I am so very thankful!) when you start to show. You surrender that the little one inside of you is going to have their way and you're OK with that. Smile, and sigh. 
4. A greater purpose–well, duh, how could you not? You're growing a person! Not a plant, or one of those little foam dinosaurs that you place in hot water and watch expand, but a real life, living, breathing, human... well, person! 
5. Sacrificing–this just goes without saying. Absolutely every sacrifice, whether it be for your health or the little one's health or betterment, they are all absolutely worth it. And most often times, the changes we make, are actually things we should be doing anyways so it's a win win for everyone. 
6. Forced Calm–I know that it sounds funny, but you have to make yourself relax. There is too much to do and too much left unknown about having your first child that you get to the point where it is detrimental to your physical and emotional health to be thinking all of the time, so you find yourself self-imposing relaxation time for your own precious sanity. 
7. Priorities–also another lesson that goes without saying. You place everything on a sliding scale; some things matter more, some less. For us organizational, put-it-in-a-box type freaks it helps to categorize the stuffs, both big and small. 

I am sure that there are many, many more, but I think that's good for now.